When life has you by the groin, get up early, drink your best morning fuel, and go attack the sh** out of your problems.

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My wife made a joke about Russell Wilson this morning. I responded: “We don’t take his name in vain in this house.”

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I’ve pinpointed the reason why I don’t like golf. Essentially, it’s because I prefer to suck at things in private.

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Is anyone else worried that ancestry.com is just going to give people like 4 other cultural heritages to be hypersensitive about?

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Many famous people like to talk about that one naysayer from their childhood that REALLY motivated them by telling them that they couldnt do it. In light of this, I’m going to spend the next several years criticizing every child’s effort. #PayItForward

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